Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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