if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
