i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
