i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
pray to the hookup gods
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
