I think I died a long time ago.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
