....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
