So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
