i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
