More tranny stories later!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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