i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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