Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
