I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
