check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Im part way to drunk.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
