I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
