Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
