Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
