i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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