I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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