If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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