and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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