Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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