dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize