What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
