I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize