No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
