Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
