Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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