I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
