exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
