'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
