just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
