Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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