She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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