I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
