I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
