the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
