rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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