quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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