Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
