those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just gargled with NyQuil
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
