I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
