you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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