If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
