I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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