I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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