My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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