I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize