I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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