you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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