lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
