it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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