A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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