its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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