it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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