You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
