where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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